Life is hard. But it shouldn't be a struggle. The taoist philosophy of going with the flow (wu wei) makes a lot of sense to me. Here are my fears and the thinking I use to avoid stressing. Smart? I don't know. Maybe I should be running around, making plans, worrying, micro-managing my life. But not stressing works better for me. After all, who knows what the future holds. How do you deal with your fears? About money or otherwise?
1. Making Bad Choices
I'm afraid that perhaps I've made some bad choices. Maybe I should have done X when I did Y. Maybe I should have asked her for help when I asked him. Maybe I should have had a back-up plan. Maybe I shouldn't have believed in myself so much.
- Then I remind myself there are no bad choices. Life is not a puzzle, or a mystery to be figured out. Life is not a competition either. Each choice is a lesson that the universe wants me to experience. Each choice is a part of me and this journey is not stressful. So I don't worry about choices anymore, I learn to trust my gut. What else is there?
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really be good at what I do. While I'd rather leave the specifics of my work out of this blog (at least until I know I have some readers), you can insert anything into your mind. A painter. A dancer. A singer. An actress. An entrepenuer. Just imagine I chose any difficult career field that requires a risk. Because I did. And now picture me, working really hard at it and doubting myself more and more as I get closer to my goals.
- Well f*c% fears of failure. I refuse to believe them. In fact I have unyielding faith that I will not fail. I also realize success is relative, like most things. When I was 15 years old I decided what I wanted to spend my life doing. And whether I am a raving success or just getting by. There is no such thing as failure if I am doing what I love.
At some point when I'm ready to have kids (soon). I will have to think about more than just myself. Will it be fair for mommy to keep doing her art when money is tight. No. And so my fear is that because of circumstance something will force me to give up my dreams. I worry that sometime in the future I'll have to sacrifice my art for my survival or the survival of my kids...
- Well right now I have no kids. And when I do, I just hold tight to the belief that the money will be there. Everything has worked out so far. So why would that change suddenly? It's important that I do what I love. This is the mantra that has been engrained in my generation and it's a useful mantra that I've observed on the ground. I see people doing what they love everyday. I see artists living their dreams. I see people who don't dream of success and still find purpose and happiness. I see that miracles are everywhere and it is possible to have what I want. And with that said what I want isn't necessarily what I need and usually comes to me in ways I didn't expect or plan for.
Yeah, that would suck. Money makes the world go round. I like the finer things in life so I'd be sad if I couldn't have them. With unemployment and a failing economy money fears are everywhere. Will social security be around when it's time for my generation to retire? Probably not. What now?
- The truth is I'm broke now and life is great. I have enough money to do what I enjoy. I'm not jet setting but I've done my fair of traveling. I had a great trip to Amsterdam last year, this year it'll just be Vegas. But I am living my dream sans money. And sans money stress. I've never been in a bad position financially. I've always found a way, and sometimes a good way. As long as I continue to work at my craft, I know the money will come. So the fear lurks but it's not realistic.